Tuesday, January 31, 2012

sometimes it just takes a long time to get there...

Remember sex and the city's last episode?

to be exact, season 6 eps. 20 part 2.....it was when Big flew to Paris to tell Carrie that she's 'the one' after all those years? Well I was watching that clip on youtube and it got me thinking......I may actually go through something similar to that...I mean not in Paris with all that perfect timing and staged romance.....but the waiting part.....I have a 'BIG' in my life, he's not a big shot like the character in sex in the city but the relationship he has with Carrie is shockingly similar to what I have with this guy. I've had my flings with other men here and there, but they don't even compare to the depth of love I once felt for this guy.
I just turned 25 and will be turning 26 at the end of the year...shouldn't I be old enough to know how to deal with this love business? The people I grew up with are slowly starting to get married and starting families, I on the other hand am no where near that stage in my life. I can't even get over my ex for gawsh sakes (and sadly it has been 2 years)
I came to Japan to advance my career, to make something of myself, but it's true what they say....if you don't have anyone to share your joys and accomplishments with, it just doesn't feel the same.  Being here in Japan, I've experienced so many wonderful things that I want to share with him.......and when I think for a second that he wouldn't care like he used to, my heart aches. how messed up is that?
I hope my solitude in Japan isn't clouding my judgement for how I really feel toward my 'BIG'.

But I can't shake this ounce of hope that if I wait long enough he may show up on my door step......k, maybe not literally, but you see what I'm trying to get at.

one of my secret pleasures is to read blogs (like le love) of hopeless romantics, so here is my hopeless romantic moment.


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